The grind in my soul

There is a man who comes drunk to the mission each time he comes, nearly every night. Here is the grind:

• Do we continue to provide services in the hope of eventually breaking through, even though he chronically exploits our mercy? If so, he may take our decision as permission to continue his behavior and die from his addiction.
• Do we discontinue providing services in the hope that hard consequences will help bring the breakthrough? If so, he may die from the elements or some accident while drunk.

Who is qualified to make such a determination? Who can be certain of the outcome of either choice?

If you already think that you know which answer is ‘right’, be careful. It cannot be decided ahead of time. It is not ‘one size fits all’. Both options have a place in addiction recovery.

It must be decided one person at a time. It must be decided in the context of relationship. It must be decided in the best interest of the person –not according to ‘policy’. It must be decided apart from our own like or dislike of the person.

Who can do that? Who can be sure that they are objective enough to be certain of the ‘right’ choice for each person? Not me! Yet, I have to make this decision every day.

That is the grind in my soul.

And here is all I know to do about it:

• Listen to hear the man’s heart
• Invite input from others
• Stay very close to Jesus
• Remain conscious of my own issues
• Be ready to change the decision at any time it seems appropriate
• Brace myself for the onslaught of criticism that will follow every new decision

The grind in my soul is good. I wouldn’t have it any other way. This work is too important to be easy.

-Aaron Eggers, Men’s Ministries