Simple words of life

I had a hard week last week. I wasn’t sure why though. All I could see from my vantage point was a gruffness coming out with increasing frequency and a scrunching tightness in my forehead. I was beginning to be more concerned for tasks than hearts and survival than service.

On Wednesday of last week, I had my weekly meeting with my boss (such an ugly word that hardly conveys any sense of my love and respect for Steve). In that meeting he picked up quickly that something was draining my spirit. After a few minutes of needed business He called the meeting off and, sort of, sent me home at 2:00 in the afternoon.

I gladly went home, dropped into bed and fell fast asleep for the next two hours. Though it was a deep and needed rest I awoke feeling anxious. I went to bed early that night and slept poorly. When morning came, the first thought I recall was about the possibility of rearranging my responsibilities so I could take the day off. I didn’t do it, but I wanted to.

My first meeting of the day was at 8:00 A.M. and was one I usually look forward to, with a person who seems eager to grow right now. As we began to engage in weighty matters my heart seemed distant and unsettled. Something still wasn’t right.

At about 8:30, half-way through my meeting, Steve (the boss) called over the intercom, “Hey Mr. Aaron,” I responded, “Hey Steve!” He asked, “I wonder if I could pop over quickly?” I could feel my spirit brighten at his request. “Sure!” I said, “Come on over.”

Steve arrived and my appointment left. As Steve and I sat looking at each other he asked, “How are you doing?” I don’t recall what I said, but it informed him that I was still not 100%.

As Steve went fishing in my soul, we eventually came to a point where I was trying to share with him some admiration I had felt toward him a few days before. –It had taken place in another meeting where I had invited those present to imagine what it must have been like being one of the Amish girls, lined up against the chalkboard as the gunman came down the line shooting. Even before I was finished speaking, I saw Steve’s face grimace and his eyes fill with water. I was drawn to him because of his tender display— that’s what I was trying to remind him of this morning.

I didn’t get very far in recounting the experience when my own imagination saw the girls; something exploded inside of me and suddenly it came gushing out. For the next few minutes I felt a swirl of refreshing embarrassing relief and clarity as I cried.

Steve saw that things were not ‘ok’ in me. He pursued me and spoke life into me by asking –simply, “How are you doing?”

Aaron Eggers, Men’s Ministries