“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8)Darrell died on our campus a few weeks ago. A resident found him slumped over in a bathroom stall with a used needle on the floor and another half-used still in his hand. We miss him greatly. He was a fixture on this campus for at least a year before leaving the men’s program the prior summer. His recent relapse was devastating and hard to watch unfold.
Community members often ask about the ‘success rate’ of our programs. And I sort of know what the questioners are asking. They want to know how many formerly homeless “are now in a home, are working, aren’t using drugs any longer, have been restored with their families, etc?” And most of the time I am not sure how to answer them in a way that satisfies. You see, I believe Darrell is a ‘success story.’
It was on this campus that Darrell realized he was loved by God and others. It was here that he heard hard truth – about his addiction, about his willingness to embrace lies about himself, about how he allowed fear to trump what God says about true reality. It was here that he grappled mightily with addiction and his position as a child of God. And it was to here that he returned in the middle of a relapse with a bag of heroin and a few needles in his hand.
You won’t read about Darrell in one of our newsletters and his death won’t provide one of our year-end statistics. Yet, his Step-Mother’s statement at the memorial service was most revealing. Though she was devastated by the loss of her step-son, she was able to say this, “I’m glad that Darrell overdosed and died at the mission... in this place where he knew he was loved rather than having to be found dead in a back alley.”
Lord, help me to trust you when life is paradoxical.- Steve Brubaker, Director of Residential Programs
