Friday, April 04, 2008

"I'm glad he died at the mission"

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

Darrell died on our campus a few weeks ago. A resident found him slumped over in a bathroom stall with a used needle on the floor and another half-used still in his hand. We miss him greatly. He was a fixture on this campus for at least a year before leaving the men’s program the prior summer. His recent relapse was devastating and hard to watch unfold.

Community members often ask about the ‘success rate’ of our programs. And I sort of know what the questioners are asking. They want to know how many formerly homeless “are now in a home, are working, aren’t using drugs any longer, have been restored with their families, etc?” And most of the time I am not sure how to answer them in a way that satisfies. You see, I believe Darrell is a ‘success story.’

It was on this campus that Darrell realized he was loved by God and others. It was here that he heard hard truth – about his addiction, about his willingness to embrace lies about himself, about how he allowed fear to trump what God says about true reality. It was here that he grappled mightily with addiction and his position as a child of God. And it was to here that he returned in the middle of a relapse with a bag of heroin and a few needles in his hand.

You won’t read about Darrell in one of our newsletters and his death won’t provide one of our year-end statistics. Yet, his Step-Mother’s statement at the memorial service was most revealing. Though she was devastated by the loss of her step-son, she was able to say this, “I’m glad that Darrell overdosed and died at the mission... in this place where he knew he was loved rather than having to be found dead in a back alley.”

Lord, help me to trust you when life is paradoxical.

- Steve Brubaker, Director of Residential Programs

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Steve,
Darrell was indeed dearly loved by staff members and clients. It was my joy to share the love of Christ with him on several occasions. I know that this brother messed up...but so do I! Praise the Lord that WS exists so we can love people right where they are at. Praise God that he loves me right where I am at as well.
Chaplain Jim

Anonymous said...

I'd like to again thank the Water Street Mission for all they did for Darrell K. The memorial service you had for him brought me so much comfort and peace actually hearing the testimonies of all of the people that knew Darrell and really did care for him. He was loved greatly in his lifetime by many. Water Street Mission extended the life of my child. If it were not for the caring and and professionalism of the staff there, I would of lost him long ago. All of you gave my son so much love and training that I forever will be thankful that a place like yours does exist for others. He was truly happy there and you brought so much joy and peace to him. That is something Darrell did not experience in a long time. Even when he went out and used he still came back to visit and see his friends and the staff. You all showed him with dignity how good of a person he still was and tried so hard to get him to come back. He tried so hard to break the demon that had such a hold on him but was unable to do it. I know he tried with all he had but it just wasn't enough. I truly was blessed to have had his life end at the mission among so many that loved and cared for him. I would not of wanted it to happen anywhere else. That was a true blessing from God for me. I know it might sound very selfish to wish that upon your organization and I am truly sorry. I know Darrell always loved it there and he would not of wanted it to happen anywhere else either. He died among so many that cared for him and not in some back street alley that he may have laid for weeks until someone found him. I hope that others will learn from him and that brings me comfort just knowing that his experience with drugs might save another person from the addition that he could not overcome. If his death saves only one person's life, his death was not in vain. I know he is in heaven, he truly did love the Lord. The Water Street Mission taught him that God did love him so very much, and I know through all of you that he finally believed that. Thank you again for all of the loving care you showed and for taking care of him. God be with you all and God Bless.
With love,
Nancy L. Kreiser
(Darrell's step-mother)