Friday, March 04, 2011

Caught Between Egypt & the Promised Land

This post is part of our current Blog Series - focusing on Addiction! As you read these stories we invite you to share your thoughts, reflections and insights. This series will include stories on addiction, along with 8 articles from our most recent Messenger magazine. Our hope is that as we engage in conversation together, we can gain a deeper understanding in the midst of trials and celebrations of overcoming addiction.

Article 2 (of 8) in the Messenger magazine - Winter 2011 Edition!
By Carrie Libonati, Learning Center Instructor, Lydia Center

No one likes to hear about relapse in recovery, because we often equate it with failure. The harsh reality is that many times, relapse is part of recovery. This is hard for those of us working with women we’ve grown to love and care about. It’s also very painful for family members to accept.

Recently God brought to my mind that many times people need to go back to their Egypt, their land of slavery, to realize just how bad it was. However, they do not go back the same; they take with them whatever changes God has done in their hearts. Because of these changes, they may not fall as hard or as far.

When Susan graduated from the Lydia Center last year, we were excited to celebrate the changes in her life, like the fact that she was living drug free after more than 25 years of addiction. Most importantly, she had learned that God genuinely loves her.

As Susan started to look for employment, we once again could see her looking back to her Egypt. The more she had to accept responsibility of any kind, the more her fear paralyzed her.

When her Lydia Center counselor met with her, Susan realized she was in a stage called dry relapse*. Susan shared, “I have a fear of making choices and taking responsibility, so I just don’t make them. There are things I haven’t given to God yet.”

Addiction is not just about getting high. For Susan, drugs, alcohol and compulsive behaviors had helped her in the past to avoid uncomfortable feelings like guilt and shame. It was a way for her to feel “normal”. We advised Susan to allow herself to feel the discomfort of things like responsibility instead of repeating her lifelong habit of avoiding it.

Unfortunately, Susan made a different choice. We were sad when she left the Lydia Center, especially because she was avoiding something that she had said was so important to her: restoring her relationship with her four children.

Change takes place one decision at a time, and it always involves risk. We know that God is not done with Susan yet. Pray with us that she will allow God to continue to heal her and to bring life change.

*For a chart on 'dry relapse,' see page 6 within the Messenger: Click Here to view.

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Previous Posts in this Series:
Fighting Addiction With the Armor of God

Fighting Addiction, and Experiencing God's Love
Dying to be FREE
She Walked In

Stay tuned for the next post in this series on Addiction!

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