I don’t have anything profound to say today (do I ever?). Maybe later, but right now, I am still just absorbing a hefty dose of reality.
I have been working with inner-city kids for over 13 years. In doing so, one can’t help but be aware of the realities of single-parent (and no-parent) households. There are some amazing single moms out there (and more than a couple great single dads). There are also some really messed up families with two parents in the home. Yes, it is a prevalent reality, but it would be naïve to say that it is ideal (or good, or even no big deal) for a child to be raised without the presence and care of two stable loving parents.
Last week Vinny (our camp director) and I were talking about fathers, and now, four days later, I am still struck by it. We had 51 boys attending our last boys’ week of camp. Out of those 51 boys: zero, not a single one, had a father living in their home. (out of the 26 girls at camp last week, only 3 had fathers in the home)
Zero...out of 51 boys...
…only 3...out of 77 kids.
Where are the fathers?
-Jack Crowley, Teen Haven
3 comments:
JC,
Maybe this is the real story for the demise of culture.
These stats are humbling - how can we encourage men to be responsible?
Imagine a world where fathers are raising their children rather than the streets or Hollywood or single moms!
This is a big issue!
Steve B.
This is really sad, but the moms are to blame as well as the dads, I will have to say.
From my observations, females want to get "pregnant" and "have babies" many times too young. They have sex outside of marriage and don't use birth control. Now, the fathers are of equal blame, of course, but the mothers are not innocents.
I must admit from observations and my own self-experience, that dads get a bad rap when many times the moms were the real initiators of pregnanices. I was with my now husband from age 17 and though we had sex outside of marriage, I knew that I didn't want to have a baby so young, so, I took precautions, however, if I had wanted to, I could have gotten pregnant and just reeled my husband into being a father. Women can be conniving sometimes. I'd say that in most cases of absentee fathers that it was the mother's "idea" to procreate and not the "father's idea," that's why the fathers are now absent. Counselors should be giving good talkings to the young women as well as the men. This is something, an issue, that the kids should discuss, I feel.
Still nothing profound to say on this yet. In sharing this observation, I am not trying to place blame, just observing a fact. The contributing factors to fatherlessness, poverty, hopelessness, and the negative choices of many inner-city youth are numerous. I guess I'm still learning the lesson I talked about in my first post about "throw-up". When I see all that is put into the lives of the youth I work with, I shouldn't be surprised when the "throw-up" comes out.
I thank God that even if I can't define all the problems (and their sources), He did provide the answer.
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